*Consistency and constant determined yet gentle pressure is the key to success with replacing the internal dialogue. Practice your Inner Disciplines.
*Remember that no matter how dark the cloud, it is merely the illusion of internal messages and thoughts. It will pass, and you do have power to change it.
*Try to view failure and 'bad days' where ego is prevalent in it's loudness, as an opportunity for GROWTH, to test your ability to harness and re-direct your feelings.
*Ask yourself- what is the worst that is going to happen to me if I fail?
The answer is- nothing. You are not going to lose your life, the world isn't going to collapse. The worst that can happen with failure is not getting back up and trying again, in which case, failure becomes perpetual.
*Use failure as a gage for your Self-trust. Do you trust yourself enough to try again?
*Use failure as an opportunity to look at your internal dialogue and listen to what/who is talking. Is it your inner critic? Is it telling you how terrible you are- always failing? If so, look beyond critic (critic is the surface mouth piece- in the 'attack' you will find your vulnerabilities, your worries- which is your inner child)
*Use self-compassion. If you suffer from self-hatred begin to use scenario's every day of how you would talk to a very small child who cried and was upset. Would you scream and yell and swear at her? Begin to treat your own Self as gently as you would treat the child in this scenario.
*Be mindful. When you can, practice mindfulness to escape your thoughts and ego and you will see things as they truly are. You will see beauty, and you will be happy.
*Understand, remind yourself at every turn when you begin to feel powerless- I HAVE A CHOICE. Just because, at one time in your life, someone tried to destroy your belief in your choice, tried to make you believe you didn't have one, doesn't make it true.
Listen beyond the surface and realize that this isn't cognitive dissonance at play- this 'powerlessness' is deep vulnerability- fear. Remind yourself that you can protect you, and no matter what happens, you will be okay.
*Be the best parent you can be to your Self. It doesn't matter if you didn't have a role model, or good frame work from your own childhood. Intuitively you will know, because regardless of even what you feel, you already know what love is, what is right and what is wrong. You already know gentleness, you already know what to do.
*accept your stumbles. Don't be prey to hating. Smile about them later because you will see growth.
* Understand that imperfection is the very opening to your soul journey. How could you grow if you were perfect?
*Be relentless. Once you trust your feet (resilience) find your direction and stay the path. You KNOW you can do it.
*Do not rely on external measures, things or people to make you happy.
*Do not rely on external measures, things or people to define your worth. Put away your measuring stick!
*Instability is not neurosis if it is coupled with awareness- it is a stage between transition, and it will balance out. Be aware, and you will tackle it.
* be brave and reach past the places that would deny you your true beauty. Know that negative labels are just things to be conquered, not things that define you.
*Be truthful to yourself. Always and forever more.
*Realise what is other people's drama's and insecurities and what is yours, and do not take on what they should be owning. Walking away and denying the fight does not make you weak.
Bear in mind that it can take more strength to walk away. Warriors refuse to give their power away.
* Do not take on what is not yours.
*Be patient. Patience is not something we are born with, but something we acquire along some of the most adverse situations of our lives. Things happen in their own time, in their natural course. Being mad or upset isn't going to make things go faster.
*Surrender. Choose, discern what is worth keeping within your heart- what is a valuable teacher- and let go of the things that fester and make you feel soul sick.
Surrender situations, people, things, thoughts and feelings about people, situations and things- don't be afraid to be alone with nothing and nobody because you were there once and YOU made it. You can make it again. Surrender for your soul health and know that when you let go and trust what is beyond you, you are rewarded richly.
* Love you first and you will always know what real love is.