Thursday, 30 September 2010

Wisdom, internal dialogue and exponential growth.

This came to me today, and I'm not sure who quoted it, or whether it's another Higher inspiration-
Wisdom is not forged in the footprint of one, rather in the footprints of the many.
I understand that as wisdom is more of an instruction, as many have and are walking the same paths, gleaned the same truths that have helped them to feel inner peace, tranquillity and love.
It made me think, separately, about hindsight. When we are in the throes of change, of upheaval, when we are in pain- we do not see because the emotion can become far more powerful at the time, and it can feel all consuming. Hindsight is looking back with enough time and seeing the lesson, seeing what really is. Because it is 'safe' to turn around and look because the emotions have worked themselves out, or they have become less extreme with time. The beauty of hindsight is the older soul who looks back. Because the growth that we make between the time of each transition to the point of hindsight is quite astonishing.
From my experience now though... I feel emotion is as important as the lessons. With all of the ego work I have been doing, I notice the 'freak out' with my ego. I notice how over time, the frequency changes. I think that the emotional grieving stage, the fear is important because we can really learn our own discipline to minimize it's effect. I wrote a while back that the key to the Inner Child feeling safe is consistency. Consistently knowing that you're okay DESPITE every freak out will eventually lead to trust and quietness because the Inner Child will know you can handle it. That strength is key to good parenting of the Self. I still freak out a little bit but know that in a few days I will be okay, when I have processed a little more.
Harnessing the emotional self is a hard task, but I believe the end result, when the emotions finally dissipate into understanding, and patience and knowing that it is safe- that the ego is then transformed into an Aware Ego. Aware ego is the experience of the lesson, our internal five senses- and if we can learn to let go of our own 'judging' and 'labelling' ourselves and experiences- stop applying the fear of extreme emotionality to difficult situations and instead just trust our bravery and survival instinct then we are better equipped at being 'outside' of us. Better equipped to see things as they really are, and see us for what we really are. And see just how magnificent we can be when we move past fear and surrender it.

I have also noticed the change in internal dialogue with self work. It's actually quite spectacular. Today, I had to smile at what I heard.
I was walking and I had some inner inspiration, and felt Ego start to preen. Another voice, we'll call almost-aware, and Higher Self stepped in. Here's the conversation-

Ego:Wow, we're smart!
Almost-aware: Higher Self doesn't preen about her wisdom. Higher Self doesn't need recognition for it.
Ego: yeah, yeah... and I guess Higher Self is going to tell me I know nothing. *Pout*
Higher Self: (with a knowing smile) You are young. You will learn.

I can see and label quite clearly now the separate voices from a Voice Dialogue Perspective- Ego is Inner Child (vulnerable, needy), Almost-aware is Protector/Controller (which is becoming more aware of the child energy and more aware of Higher Selves messages and ideals- which is AWESOME) and Higher Self is my elevated Consciousness. My protector controller is understanding and accepting of the process of becoming aware, as in part is my Ego- but not quite there yet. At least there is a bridge to that gap now, which has taken some time, but is creating a great amount of peace within me, a great amount of understanding.
'You are young. You will learn'- perfect example of a wonderfully optimistic and non-judgemental energy with great patience. I aspire to use this message to parent my Ego better. It's a solid truth. Those are the kind of truths that make all of the survival and resilience worth it.

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